I see a lot of memes on Facebook that go something like this:

I had an epidural. Then I had a c-section. Then my baby wouldn’t nurse so I had to formula feed. And now I’m wondering what all the guilt was because your kid eats chicken nuggets and hotdogs just like mine. 

Guilt.

I see and hear a serious amount of guilt over birth stories and feeding styles. I get it. And I think I understand you more than you think I do.  I don’t advertise it much, but I don’t think epidurals are healthy, I think c-sections are not preferable to a vaginal delivery and I think breast is best.

Have I had an epidural? Yes. I did when I had to have a C-SECTION. And I started buying formula when my first son was about 8 months old because I was pregnant again and very sick and depleted and blah, blah, blah.

My first and third were vaginal deliveries without an epidural. My second was a c-section. I still have three beautiful and healthy children. I many times forget that my middle, my only girl, was my c-section. It doesn’t make her different from other children. She still made it here, folks.

This mom guilt needs to stop. I’m no less of a mom to my daughter because she was a c-section baby. I’m no less of a mom to my oldest because he was on formula for a time. And you are no less of mom if you’re in any of these categories.

Please give yourself a break. And if you didn’t like the way some things turned out with your births and feeding, then reach out to those who can encourage you and perhaps change the stories of your future kids.

I breastfeed. I don’t like epidurals. I don’t like c-sections. I don’t judge you. And it would be ridiculous if I did because I’ve experienced them. I don’t judge you. Stop judging yourself. And at the end of the day, at least you’re not the mom with purple hair.

 

There is nothing better than having a baby. I’ll never forget when my sweet little boy was born. Full head of hair. I was so proud! But the hair kept growing. And growing. And growing. It grew pretty long pretty fast. It became apparent early on that the general public thought I was carrying around a little girl, not boy. I never dressed him in pink. I never put any bows or headbands in his hair. I dressed him in boy’s clothes. Yet everyone thought he was a girl. Because he had hair. He was born with nice hair.

14 months later my daughter came into the world. With hardly any hair. It is growing, slowly. I dress her in pink. And the majority of strangers tell me how beautiful my baby BOY is. The other day I was at Michael’s picking up some craft supplies when a complete stranger gasped and said, “Wow, HE is gorgeous!” This was taken right before that happened.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how THAT looks like a BOY! Leopard print leggings and floral shoes?! Hmm.

Some moms make it super obvious. Some pierce their baby’s ears, or put bows and headbands in their hair. But, some babies just pull those things right off of their head as soon as you put them on, so it can make it difficult to tell the difference.

Please, on behalf of the mommies with babies, be a little more careful about your use of pronouns. I’m going to make this simple for you. Here are two, yes, only two ways to help you figure out if you’re looking at a sweet baby boy or girl.

1. Clothing. Examine the child’s clothing carefully. What is the color scheme? Do you see a baseball or bows? Pink or blue? This is really simple. Just look at the clothes. NOT the hair. This is the MOST overlooked clue. Please pay attention to the clothing.

2. Ask how old the baby is.  Just kindly ask, “How old is your baby?” The parent is not going to respond, “IT is six months old.” No, they will use a pronoun, such as “HE is…SHE is… Instant giveaway.

That’s it. Just remember these two things and you won’t have to make a parent feel bad thinking their baby looks like the opposite sex. Please and THANK YOU!

Thunderstorms. Every. Single. Day. This. Week.

Thunderstorms are cool. But, not every day. Not when you have a 1 year old and a 2 year old and you are cooped up in the house. After going out in these crazy storms in South Florida for the past 5 days, I decided to stay indoors today. Lightning can be very dangerous in these parts. Plus there’s only so many times I can take the kids to Target. As mommies we are used to such a “fast pace” to life. The second I have a spare moment I quickly glance around to see what needs to be cleaned, picked up…or I take a swig of coffee!

Today was different. Today I stayed home. Today I actually had time to think about life. Today I was reminded of the tough parts about life. Today I felt the pain of circumstances surrounding me. I felt the pain of the divorce my parents are going through after 31 years of marriage. I felt the pain of my sister’s marriage ending so quickly after it began. I felt the pain of the same for my best friend. I felt the pain of my grandmother who isn’t doing very well, the one I rarely see even though she lives about 3 miles from my house. Guilt. Pain. Why can’t I fix the problems around me?

It’s so easy to ignore them being a mommy. We are so busy. We are responsible for keeping ALIVE these little ones around us. I don’t know about you, but for me, I have so many good days. Then I’ll have a really, really BAD day. Part of it is probably my personality. I don’t like to focus on the negative. But it eventually creeps up and then paralyzes me for about a day. And then I feel like a horrible mother.

Have you ever reached the end of a day and thought “Wow, I was a really bad mom today”? That’s how I felt after today. My kids were probably bored. There wasn’t much to do. I wasn’t in the greatest mood. I just feel like I didn’t do a good job.

Well, it’s important to evaluate ourselves on a less emotional day! It’s also important to focus our heart and mind on the TRUTH. The truth is:

1. I am a good mommy.

2. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Even be a good mom.

3. I don’t have to be afraid, because God is always with me.

4. Life is hard. But it’s also hard for everyone else. I am not alone.

5. My kids had a good day.

See. We even indulged in blue icing. (PMS)

And we played outside for the few minutes there was a break in the rain.

This is what I would consider a “bad day”. But, was it really that bad? I was doing the most important job on the face of the planet! Was it hard? Yes. Will it be hard tomorrow? Probably. Being a mom is hard. Just know that no matter what you are facing, you are not alone. I feel alone a lot. But, that’s when I have to go back to the truth. I am not alone! And neither are you.

Much love to you mommies out there! <3

There are a lot of things you hear from other moms about breastfeeding. Lots of “tips” and “advice”. I heard over and over again that it would hurt. I didn’t hurt. It was like MY NIPPLES WERE ON FIRE AND ABOUT TO EXPLODE AS TEARS IMMEDIATELY CAME DOWN MY FACE HURT. That kind of hurt. And there are some things that you only know about from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

Here are 7 things that I wasn’t prepared for:

1. Nipple Shields. Had to use one with my first baby. Why the heck are they CLEAR? Your baby is screaming his head off and you can’t find the darn nipple shield to feed your child because it’s CLEAR. Dumbest part of the invention.

2. Spraying. We all know that air drying is a must when adjusting to breastfeeding. It helps the healing process. But there’s just something a little awkard about watching milk spraying over onto your husband’s arm. It’s quite romantic.

3. Nursing Bras. I was told before I had my baby to “wait” until he was born to buy nursing bras because I really won’t know what size I’ll be until after he’s born. Well, he was born. My milk came in. I NEEDED a nursing bra. ASAP. I needed to be able to unclasp my bra and fold it down (tuck under the boob) so that I could nurse. I’ve nursed 2 kids (still am) and still can NOT find a supportive one that actually FITS. They seem to be too small, yet when I buy a bigger size they are too big. And they’re not made to cover your nipples!! Maybe I just don’t know about the “perfect nursing bra” out there. If you know of it, PLEASE let me know. Does anyone else hate these nursing bras as much as I do?

4. Examine your nipples. Yes, take some time every now and then to fully examine your nipples. Are there blisters? Are you BLEEDING? There’s nothing scarier than watching your six month old spitting up blood 3 times in one morning. And then nothing more embarrasing than finally checking your nipples after the ER doctors have performed EVERY test they can on your child and seeing….you guessed it, blood. Never been discharged from the hospital more quickly. And then I was immediately banned from ER trips by my husband.

5. Boogers. Your own. You will be peacefully nursing your child into a deep milk coma until, all of the sudden, your child’s lovely POINTER FINGER goes straight up your nose for some exploration. That’s also when you start breathing out of your mouth instead.

6. Biting. Biting hurts. Of course it does when they get teeth. But man, those late teethers who only have gums, GUMMING HURTS! They take that chomp, you react, they give you that suprised/confused/ridiculously adorable look. You never know when the first bite will occur. So even if you’re warned, you never know when.

7. It is the most bonding experience you will ever have with your baby. It’s the closest you get to them. The most they will be comforted. There’s nothing like it and nothing that can replace it. So regardless of the sacrifices, it will ALWAYS be worth it.

Is there anything about breastfeeding that nobody warned you about? Comment below!